


Like a Starfish

by hirohamadugh



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: A lot of introspection to Belphie struggling with his redirected blame on humans, Archive warnings to cover the events of lesson 16, Denial of Feelings, Dissociation, Enemies to Friends, Just platonic since it's only setting up MC forgiving him!, Loss of Control, MC doesn't stay dead just like in canon but tagged just in case, MC is my OC!, MC sneaks up to the attic more often than shown in canon, Manipulation, Nightmares, Overwhelming remorse, Panic Attacks, Survivor Guilt, she/they pronouns for my OC!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24611125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hirohamadugh/pseuds/hirohamadugh
Summary: Completely self-indulgent rewrite of the events in lessons 4-16 in concern to Belphie using my OC to make it flow a little better so it's not whiplash from hating to being buddy buddy! Tagged T for language and descriptions of violence in lesson 16.more info on the MC OC in this fic, Parker, can be found @lemonjelloarts on twt/ig!
Relationships: Belphegor & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello, thank you for taking interest!! I really wrote this for myself since this was how I saw the events of the early lessons w/ Belphie so that they made more sense in my head, so I hope you enjoy, too!

Belphegor picked at the chipping-cyan lacquer on his forefinger for the umpteenth time, a habit he’d found himself frequenting just to pass the time recently, most often whenever he woke up for the day. The day? The night? He didn’t know, really. There were no windows in the stuffy attic room he’d been imprisoned to, D.D.D. confiscated, and the only clock on the wall probably hadn’t been in operation for a millennium now. The only sense of time he had was when he could hear some of the occupants of the house below him dreaming- he figured, surely, that meant it was night. He was the only one of his brothers who typically slept in the middle of the day, so certainly the multiple voices whispering in his ears- telling tales of Levi growing gills to be able to spend time with Henry 2.0 or of Mammon walking down the aisle only for his bride to turn around and be a Grimm coin herself at the alter- were the figments of his brothers’ subconscious, turned in for the evening. The Avatar of Sloth swatted at the air half-heartedly, as if doing so would waft the eavesdropped dreams away, as he had particular disinterest in seeing his greedy older sibling snogging some shiny metal. He sneered, standing up from the pile of scrapped blankets he’d been curled up in and pacing to the other side of the room in hopes to get back to his own moping and anger-stoking so he could plot a manipulation scheme to get out of here already. Finding the magical equivalent of reception no shittier in this corner either, Belphegor heaved a deep and frustrated inhale, before giving up on peeling away the thin nail polish and knitting his fingers together in his lap instead. If he couldn’t ignore sensing those asleep in the house, the least he could do was divert his attention elsewhere. First, he focused on Beel: making sure he was sleeping peacefully, would wake up refreshed, and that nightmares didn’t even dare to THINK about crafting themselves in his subconscious thought. In fact, all nightmares that WOULD have gone to Beelzebub he was certain to divert to Lucifer instead, but was met with a road block when he heard the eldest brother’s mind buzzing a mile a minute, intangible to his prying hands because he was very much still awake, and not sleeping any time soon. Belphegor grit his teeth at the fact Lucifer was depriving him from tormenting him in his sleep, and knew damn well it was probably on purpose. He was just about to punt one of the phoenix feather pillows across the room when a particularly delicious opportunity wormed its way into his awareness: someone new trying to sleep. Someone with a trace he failed to identify right away- a _human_ trace- oh, so they chose to shelter one of the (literally) damned exchange students in the House of Lamentation, huh? The thing he swore so desperately against, the whole reason he was even IN this devil-forsaken jail cell in the first place, and they were housing it like a lost puppy right beneath him? Just to rub salt in the wound?! Oh, no. Not on his watch. Belphegor focused his energy onto manifesting their stream of consciousness into a literal physical representation in front of him; it was taxing, but well-worth it from the twisted satisfaction he got by yanking on it, able to feel himself ripping them back out of their near-sleep. Oh, OH! Even better, a devious plot was forming in Belphegor’s head as he held the metaphysical string close to his lips, the devilish grin upon them betraying the message the human he was whispering to heard.

“…el…”

The Avatar of Sloth feigned a whimper, just for good measure to play upon the stupidest trait humans all had: pity. “…elp…” He whined again, and had to let go of his toying with their head so they wouldn’t hear his laughter as the stream of consciousness shook, startling awake. He could leave it there, but it was just too good to resist, so he placed his hands on the metaphysical string again, quieting his giggles to whimper some more into their thoughts. “…Help… Someone help me…”

The human must have gotten out of their bed, because the stream of consciousness Belphegor had been manipulating vanished into thin air, out of his realm of power once they had stopped trying to sleep. He was beat after expending all that energy anyways, and ready for a nap, satisfied with his work. But as he nested in the blankets on the floor, bundling up for a bit of sleep, adamant footsteps echoed into his ears. The gait wasn’t Lucifer’s, and the Prideful demon was the only one who even so much as knew he was up here, so why did he hear the footfalls stop at the base of the staircase? No… Say it wasn’t so, it COULDN’T be…

He bit the bottom of his lip to conceal a snicker, pulling the blanket closer to his chest to hide his excitement. “Help…” he called out verbally, having realized the human really stupidly came to _investigate_ , huh? Belphegor shook his head to himself, his navy blue hair falling even more into his face than it already had been. “…Over here!” He hissed, sitting up now in excitement before hearing a more familiar gait hastily approaching and stopping right at the base of the stairwell, too. _Lucifer_. 

“Parker.” Sure enough, his captor’s voice rang clear, and he heard the sounds of struggling: Lucifer must have forcefully stopped them, and there was venom in his warning as he continued. “Stop right there.” He heard the human- _Parker, Lucifer called them-_ wrestling out of his grip. “You’ll go no farther,” the Avatar of Pride commanded, “that’s not a place for humans. It’s dangerous. Go back to your room.”

Immediately, and without hesitation, he heard a voice he didn’t recognize defiantly reply. “No.” Belphie smirked to himself: definitely not because he had respect for someone standing up to Lucifer, and certainly only because how _stupid_ it was for a measly human to not know their place.

Even Lucifer laughed at them, right in their face. “Interesting,” Belphegor could hear him say, “I think I’m starting to understand why you were chosen to come here.” The sleepy demon rolled his eyes and scowled; they stood up to Lucifer and got _praised_ for it?! And when he stood up to Lucifer he got _JAILED_ ?! “But you can’t say no. Because **I’m not giving you a choice.** ” Before he could only see red, Belphegor heard Lucifer grabbing the human again, and them mumbling some sort of protest against it, but he must have been leading the two of them away, because the voices were fading. “Now then. Back to your room. If you value your lif... yo… do as I s…”

Belphegor fell onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He could work with this. He _had_ to work with this… He just had to make sure he kept with it. If he could get the human to do all the dirty work for him, out of pity… Yes. That could work. He just had to make sure he kept with it. He just had to be persistent.

* * *

The next night, he felt it again. The human- _Parker_ , he corrected himself- was trying to sleep, and again he made sure to rip them away from it, to deny them a peaceful rest and haunt them with thinking of him. He didn’t even need to say anything this time- their stream of consciousness disappeared right from his grasp. They got up. And sure enough, a few minutes later, he heard them sneaking along the railing just down the steps. And doubly sure enough, Lucifer’s voice was quick to chip in, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What’s going on, Parker? Out for a stroll?” He didn’t even let them reply, and there was blatant hidden threats behind his feigned-innocent words. “I just keep running into you here, don’t I? It seems you are really curious about what’s at the top of this staircase. Unless I’m mistaken, I believe I told you that it’s not a place humans have any business going.” Belphie supposed he wasn’t wrong there: it really was in their best interest to not coming into contact with him. But it wasn’t in _his_ best interest, so he didn’t care, and hated that Lucifer kept intervening. Belphegor gripped the door grate in frustration, trying desperately to peer down the stairs even though he knew very well he couldn’t see the scene he was hearing. He listened as Lucifer threatened Parker with their life if he caught them here again as the two left, and he grit his teeth. As much as he wanted the end of the exchange program, he wanted to at least get to _use_ it to his own advantage first, since he couldn’t stop it before it had started. Now all that could be just another thing ruined by Lucifer.

Multiple nights passed without any visitors to the staircase- he’d almost forgotten how lonely it was without the excitement. Each night he still tried to catch Parker before they fell asleep, but exerting his energy after nothing for so long had left Belphegor fatigued, and most of the nights he slept through his entire window of opportunity to strike and torment them. One night he even had managed to catch Parker’s consciousness, and pleaded for help again in attempt to goad them back to the staircase just for _something_ to look forward to, but they never came, and after a while keeping them awake got boring, so he just let them sleep. He was starting to lose motivation. Of course things wouldn’t work out the way he’d hoped: they never did. Why did he even bother?

Belphegor picked back up the daily routine of nail painting, sleep, then nail chipping, since at least that was something he had control over. How many days had passed (had days passed? Weeks? Or was it hours?) since the last night Lucifer and this Parker were at the base of the stairs? Were they really too scared of his older brother to come back, and help a poor, poor soul in need like him?

His answer came to him in a pattern of what-was-now-familiar footsteps, followed by hesitation upon reaching the bottom of the stairs. Belphegor bolted to his feet, frozen for a second in shock, before desperately grabbing onto the door’s grate as he pressed his cheek against it, waiting. Waiting for Lucifer’s reprimand to tell the human to go… But his older brother’s voice never came.

“… Parker.” He tested the name on his lips, allowing the hope to creep into his voice. I mean, don’t get the wrong idea or anything, it’s not like he _wanted_ them to come see him for his own pleasure or anything. He just wanted to use them. That’s all.

Belphegor didn’t hear them reply, but more importantly, didn’t hear anyone shooing them away either. “Finally,” he breathed, the metal bars cold on his lips. “No one is going to stop you. Now’s your chance to climb the stairs.”

They hesitated, definitely debilitating if it was worth the risk. He had to be more desperate sounding. He had to allure them up here. “Come… This way, Parker.”

His heart skipped a beat upon hearing them immediately start up the spiral staircase, and soon enough, the human he’d been so focused on all this time was standing right in front of him, only a few inches of enchanted metal between them. He felt a flood of emotions, most notably rage, hatred, pent-in anger, hope that this might actually work, and the one that actually showed itself in his shift in posture: relief. He shoved the rest of the feelings down deep to focus on the lie he was fabricating, shoulders slumping a little as he rested his fingers on the grate and met their eyes. It was a girl, the one they’d picked- or at least, she looked like one. Her hair was black, and tied up behind her head out of her face, skin just a few shades paler than Mammon’s, and dark blue eyes that looked like pools of black in the dim lighting. It was a shame, too- if she were a demon, or if he had met her eons ago back when he was fond of the nasty little rats, they might have even gotten along. Parker even seemed to have the same affinity for baggy comfortable clothing that Belphegor had, with no sense of care for fashion. But never mind the what-ifs, and never mind so much as thinking of her longer than he had to: she was human, she was disgusting to him, and she was stupid enough to fall right into his trap. He sighed happily- happy of the thought of tricking her, obviously- and broke the silence between them. “I knew you were the one person who’d be able to find me.” Rule number one to manipulating humans is to make them feel all special. Then they practically choke on their own ego.

Parker took a step towards the door, and Belphie’s lips curled upwards that they were walking right into this. “Who are you?” They asked with a jut of their chin, arms crossed defiantly over the loose t-shirt that billowed over their chest, scrunching it a little. 

The demon leaned back a little from the door, but didn’t unhinge his fingers from being curled around the metal. “Who am I?…That’s a good question. I forgot the answer long ago, myself.” Technically, that wasn’t even a lie, and the sigh that fell from his lips involuntarily betrayed that.

“Are you a demon?” Parker had shifted her weight to one hip, an inquisitive look etched on her face. It looked moronic. He decided he hated it. Should he tell her the truth? Was that enough to make them pity and work for him? Wait, no, what was he thinking- of course he wasn’t going to spill the truth to a stupid mortal. It’d be better to make them think he was one of them.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” He hissed, before commanding himself to cool it, and play it off. “Just… The thought of being one of _them_ is enough to send a shiver down my spine. I’m a human, just like you.” Belphegor paused, his grip loosening a little and his fingers slipping down the grate, until he gave up and shoved them in his pockets. “A demon imprisoned me in here long ago, and I’ve been stuck here ever since.” That wasn’t enough. He had to say more, he had to _turn_ them on his captor. “It was Lucifer. I’m guessing you’ve met him?”

He told her the absolute minimum to get them to understand the situation, painting Lucifer in a bad light all the while. “I’m begging you, Parker,” he pleaded, meeting their eyes once more when he could tell they were considering it. “You’ve got to get me out of here. I’m asking for your help.”

She was quiet, and in that time Belphegor was able to assess more about her. They were shorter than him, and significantly so. Out of the bottom of their short sleeves, he saw patterned black ink peeking out- what must have been tattoos, of some sort. She didn’t carry herself in a very feminine way, nor did she appear to put much effort into how she looked- Asmo must be dying down there in desire to doll her up. Before he could assess anything else, she spoke up: “Help you how?”

Hook, line, and sinker. Belphie didn’t even bother to hide his smile at her compliance, and proceeded to share his master plan and their role in it. They seemed willing to go through with it, and nodded in all the right places, and he could tell that the more he shared, the more interested and nosy they were. Stupid humans, always wanting to know more and never satisfied. Belphegor made sure to make her feel needed, and expressed how important she was to his freedom; he made her feel like she was ‘the chosen one’ like in Levi’s video games. And Parker, the dumb human they were, fell right for it. 

He bid her goodnight, warning that if they stayed up here longer than needed, Lucifer could potentially find them. As if he cared for their safety and well-being; really, he was just done and she had served her purpose, and now he wanted her out of his sight. “Go,” he encouraged, shooing her back down the stairs. “You’re my only ray of hope in this bleak, bleak world. I’m counting on you.”

Parker’s eyebrows knit in what Belphie placed as determination, giving him a curt nod. And then, they were gone. 

* * *

Less than a week later, Belphegor was so rudely interrupted from his scheduled frantic pacing by particularly hastened thumping of someone climbing the stairs to see him, and he almost- _almost-_ wasn’t surprised when the owner of the noise came into his view. He should have known, with how they had straight-up said _no_ to Lucifer’s face that first night, that they’d be back. Still, he allowed his eyebrows to rise and scrunch his forehead. “Ah, it’s you.” The demon crossed to stand in front of the gate on his side, towering multiple inches over her as she approached the door as well. He asked about her status with Beel, as he had been the first demon he suggested pacting, knowing his brother would absolutely adore a little bundle of firey energy as Parker’s and wouldn’t hesitate to grow close with her, human or not. It was one of the things they differed on greatly, despite being twins and all. But they didn’t answer his requests for updates, and even managed to throw him by surprise with her words when they did respond.

“Are you Belphegor?”

All he did was blink at first, not having expected her to have deduced that so quickly. He scoffed, taking a step away from the grate, not wanting their breath to intermingle and rather wanting to distance himself from the stupid human as much as he could. Who did they think they were? One of Satan’s little detectives from his novels?! Belphegor ran a hand through his hair anxiously- although he’d never admit to that being the reason. It was in his eyes, that was all. “Aww, so you’ve already figured me out, have you?” He bit back, allowing a small huff to escape from his lips. “Well, you’re no fun at all.”

He confirmed her suspicion by revealing who he was, and of course, the human she was, Parker said the absolute _dumbest_ think she could say, which only stoked the angry flame inside of him. “Why did you lie to me?”

“Why did I _LIE_ to you…?” Belphegor crossed back over to the door with haste, only barely keeping his frustration at bay once he’d reached it. His shoulders dropped as he internally calmed himself down, and was admittedly caught off guard at how she didn’t so much as flinch at his storming approach. Two could play. He would find a way under their skin. “It wasn’t so much that I lied to you, more that I was just teasing you.” Belphegor shot her a coy grin, his eyes half lidded as he did so to denote he still was very much teasing them. “Though I figured it wouldn’t be long before you found out the truth either way…” He turned his back to her, as if lost interest in her as a whole, and wafted his hand. “Humans really are a stupid, foolish lot…”

Parker audibly gripped the grate behind him, and the thought of them being so desperate and idiotic to fall for such a weak taunt made Belphegor snicker to himself, but he didn’t dare look back. He kicked one of the pillows on the floor lazily, because while this was all good and fun, he _did_ still need their help if he were to get out of here, so he needed to make sure they understood that he really wasn’t lying about being Lucifer’s prisoner. They narrowed their eyes on his back, and he could actually feel the glare prickling the tiny hairs on the back of his neck, but Belphegor refused to give them the satisfaction of his attention. “And why don’t you get your brothers to help you, then?”

That, okay, _that_ was indignant enough to where he did snap his head to look at her, because certainly she wasn’t _that_ daft, right?? “If that were possible, don’t you think I would have done it long ago?!” He clenched his fists, before forcing them back open, smoothing his clammy-from-rage palms on his black pants. The demon explained to them how certainly the truth would send them all into a second grand war, and no realm would be safe from the effects of it. “I’d like to find… A _peaceful_ resolution to all this.” He lied through his teeth, more truthfully wanting to see the look on Lucifer and Diavolo’s faces when he was freed. “Personally, I’d like to be able to have a proper, face-to-face talk with Lucifer. Sure, we may have had a falling out, but really, it was only a little misunderstanding.” He forced a smile, trying to salvage any semblance of a good innocent little boy front for Parker’s pity. “If I could just talk with him, he’d realize that was the case. I need to find some way out of here, find Lucifer, and talk with him.” He collapsed to the floor, sitting and leaning back on his palms to look up at Parker’s softened face. Like putty in his hands, he’d de-escalated her. Humans were so so simple. “That’s all I want.” The demon sat up a bit and raised his hands to either side of his head in a showy display of honesty. “And that’s the truth, this time. You understand, right?”

They stepped away from the door, letting go of it and this time being the one to turn _their_ back on _him._ “And who’s to say you’re not still lying to me…?”

So maybe they weren’t _as_ easily manipulated as he thought. Didn’t make them smart, either. “Well, I suppose I can’t blame you for not trusting me…” Belphegor fell back, allowing himself to lie on the ground and start picking at his nail polish again. “But… You’re the **only** person I can count on to help me right now.” She stopped her path of movement to the staircase, and he smiled to himself, for he knew she was listening. And considering. He turned his head to face the door, skimming his fingers along it wistfully, a dramatic sigh rising and falling with his chest. “If you reconsider and decide you want to help, come back here. I’ll be waiting for you.”

She didn’t reply, and disappeared from his view, rushing down the steps, and away from him. Belphegor groaned when he was sure Parker was out of earshot, sitting up and throwing the closest blanket as hard as he could across the room in his frustration. He didn’t know how he’d ever _liked_ those damn things, so stubborn and not obedient to even helping him. And now, he didn’t know if she ever would. After all, she probably had a perfect little life with his perfect little brothers down there. Why would they need to help him?

* * *

It hadn’t even been a day. Not even a full day, and he heard her sneakers squeaking against the polished metal of the spiral staircase up to him. Sitting up, the demon quirked an eyebrow up in surprise, a delighted look spreading across his features. “… Well this certainly is unexpected. You’re already back…! I thought it would be longer before you returned, if you ever did at all.” 

“I don’t quit that easily,” she retorted, and it was clear she firmly stood behind that. 

“So I take it you’ve decided to help me?” He crooned his neck towards her, chewing the inside of his cheek. “I have to wonder, though. What was it that changed your mind?”

Parker hesitated to reply, because like him, she tended to guard the truth around those she didn’t trust. And based on his prior performance, Parker certainly didn’t quite trust him. In reality, it was a mix of reasons: wanting to see something through to the end, to satisfy her own nosiness, to piss off Lucifer, to help Beelzebub feel more at peace. But what came out of her mouth was “I’m doing this for you.”

“Oh? Are you really?” Belphegor’s face twisted down into what may have been a sneer, but Parker didn’t catch it because they were too busy daring to roll their eyes at him as soon as it was clear he was going to have some snarky remark. “Trying to get on my good side, is that it?” He found himself crossing the room to the door again, pressing both hands on it so he could leer down at the shorter girl through it. “If you’re really telling me you have sympathy for me, I’m happy to take advantage of that for my _own_ gain, but it’s not going to get _you_ anywhere.”

“Did I say for you? Oh, sorry, I meant for _me_.” She glared right back up at him, and if there weren’t metal keeping him from doing so, Belphegor would have strangled the human right then and there. He grit his teeth and pushed away from her, taking a few paces back into the safety of the attic room, before he did anything he might regret. 

“Whatever,” he hissed, before stressing again that Parker could absolutely under no circumstances tell his brothers that he was up here. All of hell had yet to (quite literally) break loose, so he could only assume she’d kept his secret up until this point, and it was imperative to continue to do so. “Now go ahead and go back to your room already.”

Parker, eloquent as ever, flicked him a middle finger for telling her what to do, before pivoting on her toes. “Bye,” they huffed, their jet-black ponytail whipping around behind them as they shoved their hands in their pockets and headed towards the stairs again.

“…Actually, wait a minute, there’s something important I still haven’t said…!” Belphie called out, and it came out a bit more desperate sounding than he’d intended. But he couldn’t just _let her_ have the last word! No way in hell! 

She turned her head at the top of the stairs back towards him, before making a gesture with her hand for him to get on with it. “What?”

“…I really do appreciate your help. Honestly. If you hadn’t shown up, I would have been trapped up here for who knows how long.” As much as it pained him to admit, it was the truth, and that probably was why it tasted so acidic rolling off his tongue. “So I want you to know I’m grateful… Thank you, Parker.”

The human only glared at him in return, and then shook her head. “Yeah, whatever.” And with that she retreated down the stairs, not even letting him get another word in. Was she going to come back? And more importantly: why did he care?? Why did his chest feel like there was weight rattling within it at her dismissal of his thanks? He hated humans. He hated Parker. He just had to play nice in the short term, while he used them. Then he could get rid of them, and this feeling inside of him.

* * *

It was only a few days before they were back, and interrupting his sleep, nonetheless. 

“Oh,” their voice came quietly through the metal bars, as Belphegor rubbed his eyes tiredly. “You’re awake.”

“Of course I’m fucking awake, did you _hear_ how loud you were coming up here?!” He yawned profoundly, sitting up and staring at Parker with eyes that threatened to fall shut again. “What are you even doing up here? I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.”

The exchange student stood up from her crouch, tugging at the bottoms of her running shorts to make sure they hadn’t ridden up her thighs any. “Aww, you missed me?” Parker teased, a grin on her face when she saw the glare it had earned her. 

“More like you can’t stop coming back,” he grumbled, in an attempt to regain the upper hand of the situation. “What do you want?”

“To bug you.” They spoke so plainly that is pissed him off. Not even an ounce of shame in knowing she was a pest, and it made him grimace in disgust as she continued. “Figured you must be lonely up here all by yourself. Thought you could use some company.”

Belphegor rolled back away from her, tugging the blanket over his head so he didn’t have to look at them. “Well think again,” he hissed, and could hear them walk up to the door and stop just on the other side of it.

“Hmm. I thought again. And I think you are lonely after all, or else you wouldn’t want to get out so bad.”

The demon threw the blanket off of him, leaping to his feet to point accusingly. “It’s about _freedom_ , not about loneliness. Now if all you came up here to do was piss me off, you’ve done it, so let me go the hell back to sleep already.”

Parker didn’t move at first, not an inch. Had they not heard him? Were they really stupid enough to poke the bear, and did they know it was all fun and games until he got _out?_ Belphegor did everything in his power to not start glowing on the spot right then and there, but his stewing was interrupted when she spoke up. “That’s not all I came up here for.”

“Then what?!” He spat, throwing his hands out in questioning dramatically. 

Parker tucked one of the hairs that had failed to reach her ponytail behind her ear, breaking the eye contact with Belphegor as she took sudden great interest in the square pattern of the charmed grate imprisoning him in here. “I wanted to tell you… About Beel.” She chipped at the flaking gloss on the metal, just like he had been doing with the paint on his nails when he was uncomfortable. “Nothing bad happened, I mean!” Parker was quick to remedy, meeting Belphegor’s eyes with her own wide ones for a second, before diverting them again. “I mean, technically yeah I guess he did destroy some of the house, but he’s okay and all. But because of that, I’ve been staying with him in your guys’ room… And I just thought you might want to know he really misses you. Like maybe you would take comfort in knowing that… I even caught him texting you earlier today, too. Even though he ‘knows your D.D.D. wont work in the human realm’.” Parker made air quotes as she confessed this news to Belphegor, before stepping away from the door and heading back to the stairs, suddenly desiring to retreat. “Thought you might want to know that, is all. Now I have, so I’ll let you get back to your nap.”

They were gone, leaving Belphie to just have to digest that. She thought of him? Why was she being nice to him and risking herself to tell him that, when they clearly had a very tentative relation as it was? Did she pity him? Was it all a mental game?! He tugged at the hair on top of his head, writhing in the bed. It had to be some foolish explanation. Because they were human. That had to be it. 

But she kept coming. Almost daily, in fact, almost for a week. They’d come upstairs, and would never stay for more than a handful of minutes each time, and tell him little things about what his brothers were up to. He even, once, told her a story about one time Satan and he had hid all Lucifer’s paperwork, replacing it with a stack of crayon drawings made by particularly young Little D’s. Voluntarily. What was wrong with him?! What was she doing to him?! He had to keep his eyes on the prize. He was not here to make friends with a human, he didn’t even like them in fact. It was just something to break apart the monotonous day. That was all. That was the only reason he found himself wondering when Parker would be stopping by, was he was wondering how brash and _idiotic_ they were. Wondering if they had any updates on their pact status already, so they could get him out of here and he could send them packing, preferably for good.

After a few days- how many? How many days had passed? How many times had she visited so far? He’d lost count, lost track of time once again, but he could tell when he heard the familiar footsteps climbing the stairs that this was not her usual timing. The circadian rhythm of their dynamic was thrown off, and he was taken by surprise by the amount of _energy_ he now had to deal with, because she came upstairs swinging.

“How the hell am I supposed to do this?!” Parker casted her backpack carelessly onto the floor of the hallway, throwing aggression into the thing as she began her fit. It was as if Belphegor wasn’t even there: in fact, she may have genuinely forgot about him being present and just come up here for a moment of privacy, for she didn’t so much as look at him once. “I hate this uniform more than anything!! Could the God-Damned devil _prince_ Diavolo have picked anything more COMFORTABLE?!” She hissed her words, and before Belphie even processed it, she was wrestling off the uniform top, fiercely unbuttoning and unbuckling where appropriate, before giving up and shimmying out of it altogether. Curses laced her breath as she tugged and ripped the top off of her body, a plain tank top underneath it preserving her decency as she chucked the jacket across the hallway in disgust. “Jesus Christ, or whatever the hellish equivalent is,” Parker muttered, all but collapsing with her back against the door, sliding down until she was sitting against it. “Finally, I can _breathe_.”

Belphegor twisted on the bed so he was lying on his stomach, head propped up with his hands coyly as he cleared his throat. “Done your hissy fit yet?” He taunted, using the fact she wasn’t facing him to his advantage, as no one would know he was inspecting all the inked markings across her upper back, now exposed thanks to her racerback tank. “Really, you can continue if you’re not. It’s quite amusing to watch.”

She let her head fall back against the door with a quiet thud, groaning in response. “Can it,” was their only retort, left hand reaching out and grasping in the general direction they’d thrown their backpack down, clearly exasperated. “You’re welcome for the free entertainment. Next time it’s going to cost you.”

“If you meant the stripping, that line will work much better on Asmo,” Belphegor pushed himself up to his feet, finding great amusement in the frustrated growl that emitted from her lips thanks to his comment. “What are you doing up here, anyways?” _This isn’t your usual time_ , is what he would have added. You know, if he cared.

Grabbing the backpack and throwing it open, Parker began digging through it until they produced a notebook for their lap. “I needed _somewhere_ quiet to do my homework. Somewhere they can’t follow me.” She turned her head, looking at him finally, even if just out of the corner of her eye. “Your family’s a fuckin’ handful, you know that?”

He knew. He knew that very well, and merely laughed at the statement to demonstrate he did. “Yeah, I’m aware.” Belphegor stretched languidly, like he didn’t have a single bone in his body, before continuing with a devious grin. “Who’s to say I’ll be quiet, though? You think I _want_ you hanging around here? Don’t get it mistaken. We aren’t friends, you know.”

“I’m the one who said you’d be quiet,” she immediately replied, turning her back to him once more. “Go back to sleep. And I’ll be gone by the time you wake up.” They were scrawling something in the notebook with a pen, attention already off him. That quickly, lost interest in the conversation. I mean, who did she think she was?! Did she think just because all his brothers were probably throwing themselves at her, that he would too?

He tilted his chin up, looking down his nose patronizingly at the girl sitting on the other side of the door. Not that she could see; she wasn’t paying attention to him in the slightest. “On one condition,” he sneered, not one to surrender and just do what he was told, certainly not by some HUMAN.

“Oh?” Her ears wiggled, and the tip of her ponytail skimmed her shoulders as she sarcastically commented, not even bothering to look at him when she spoke to him. She was still writing, even. Not even her full focus. “The Avatar of Sloth needs _conditions_ to agree to go and sleep, is it? That’s certainly a new one.”

Belphegor clenched his fists and his jaw, infuriated at her tone sounding like she was calling all the shots. His eyes made their way to all her tattoos again, all black ink, scattered across her upper back and arms, but violently broken up on her left shoulder blade by a single design in decorative watercolors, practically bursting in vibrancy amongst the rest. A sea star, one of those little bastards Levi kept in his aquarium as a bottomfeeder. A human, with a literal bottomfeeder permanently on them. How fitting. “Tell me why the starfish is the only one in color,” he demanded, unclenching his fists and crossing his arms over his chest. “And if you do, I’ll let you stay up here.”

Parker stopped what they were writing, the pen hitting the paper with a satisfying thunk. It was clear that at least now, she was paying attention to him. “Pardon?”

“The tattoo.” What, was she stupid? Unaware? Certainly she knew what her own _body_ looked like, don’t act dumb. “It’s the only one in color. There’s a reason for it, and that’s why you froze.”

She dropped the notebook into her lap, reaching behind her in attempt to touch the inked design on her skin in question. “Right,” she muttered, before letting out an exhale, drumming her fingers on her thigh when she returned her hands forward again. “I just like starfish, is all.”

Liar. And he could tell. Belphegor narrowed his eyes, unsure why he was so invested in a human’s personal choices- why the hell did he care?? Why did he even ask in the first place? But now, it was a matter of his ego: how DARE she not give him the answer he’d asked for? “That’s not it.” He took a daring step closer to the door, producing a horseshoe out from his cardigan pocket and running it along the metal grate, making an irritating and repetitive clinking noise. “Must be hard to focus…” He dragged it down until it was clinking right behind her head, a mischievous smile on his lips as he could see her shoulders tensing at his frustrating and childish behavior. “What a shame… So hard to study…”

“Okay! Stop!” She actually dared to try and grab the metal semicircle through the grate to stop him, and Belphegor scoffed, before laughing. Humans really were so easy to toy with. “I didn’t lie, I do really like starfish. But since you’re so _insistent_ on knowing the gooey mushy reason, it’s… I… I liked them most when I was little, alright? Thought it was really cool how no matter how anyone tried to tear them apart, no matter how anyone tried to take them down, they’d always come back. They never let it stop them. And I decided I wanted to be just like that, so I got a little permanent reminder to do so.” 

Belphegor was quiet for a moment, and a silence settled between them, just barely, before he broke it. “Wow…” He trailed off, then erupted into maniacal laughter. “That is the _stupidest_ thing I have ever heard. Just when you think you’ve lived long enough!!” 

Parker pelted her pen through the metal bars at him with a huff; of course he didn’t understand. “Go the fuck to sleep,” she hissed, and turned her back to him once more. Even when he tried to taunt her back, she just abstained from replying, tuning him out until he gave up and curled on his blankets, losing interest. And true to her word: when Belphegor woke up again, she was gone, the only sign of her having ever been there being her pen still casted onto the attic room floor.

God was she right about one thing though: Belphegor quickly learned this human was the absolute most _stubborn_ thing he had ever, in his multiple eons of years of life, I mean EVER encountered. Because even after all that, she came back again. She kept coming back, throwing off the formal uniform top, sharing a bit of tantalizing and teasing malicious banter just to piss him off, and doing her homework with her back to the bars as he grumbled and went back to sleep. It was so… 

INFURIATING. 

Every day Belphegor could feel his chest begin to burn even at hearing them arrive upstairs, a sensation he was quick to label as hatred. And every day, it grew. Every smile made his stomach turn, how could she be _happy_? She didn’t deserve to be, didn’t deserve to be the free one out of the two of them, didn’t deserve to get to come up here and taunt him while he just had to sit and accept her presence, because really what could he do to force her to leave? He was trapped here, and she cornered him in, pissing him off more and more each day. The stupid way she laughed, the stupid way the hairs at the very base of her neck didn’t reach her ponytail and wisped down her back, the stupid tattoos laced on her skin, twitching tauntingly as she worked. Belphegor hated it. He hated all of it, and any time he had to so much as see their stupid face, he chewed his cheeks to keep from seething in rage. He couldn’t wait to get out of here. Couldn’t wait to use them and never see them again, to forcibly send them back to the human world without so much as a second to catch their breath, so they could never torment him again. Never make him feel like this again, so full of hatred and coming for Satan’s title as the Avatar of Wrath. Who knew? Maybe his own rage would birth another demon soon, it was growing so strong.

The next time he saw her ugly, human face, his gut churned, and he couldn’t take it any longer. Just hearing the pitter patter of Parker’s approach on the stairs was enough to make him erupt into his true form, glowing in his overflow of emotions. “What the hell do you _WANT_?! Why do you keep COMING HERE?!” 

Parker, however, just raised an eyebrow as they tossed their bag on the ground as usual, starting to unbutton their uniform to be a bit more comfortable, just like they always did. “Well, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” she mumbled, and dared to even _chuckle_ to herself at the snide remark. “Oh, your demon form is… A cow…? How intimidating.”

Belphegor screamed, and I mean a true, earnest shout of frustration as the glowing shone brighter, and he charged the metal door, shouldering it heavily as he glared the human down into bits and pieces. “Can’t you see? How miserable you’ve made my life? All these times you snuck up here, don’t tell me you actually thought we were BONDING, did you?!” He was practically foaming at the mouth as he sputtered out whatever insult and demeaning things he could, his violet and burgundy eyes shining now too. “Oh, look at your face. You did, didn’t you? You thought I would love you, just like the others, oh if you just kept trying! You LISTEN TO ME, PARKER. I WISH YOU NEVER CLIMBED THE STAIRS IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

She knit her eyebrows down, finally displaying genuine anger on her face for once. Finally, he had gotten beneath her skin, cracked that lax and aloof shell and gritted her where it mattered. And if nothing else, that made the corner of his lip quirk up. “I think you’re forgetting what’s happening here. _I_ am putting myself at RISK! To help you! You and your hellish mental games, you made me come up here in the first place! If you have anyone to blame, it’s yourself!! Stop snapping at me because I’m the only one who you get to talk to these days, your only friend-“

“FRIEND?!” He practically imploded, the pillows and blankets swirling in a whirlwind in the room behind him from all the energy his anger was stirring up. “You think we’re FRIENDS?! _You_ are the one forgetting your place. You’re nothing but a stupid, worthless human, and once I’m done using you, I’ll get rid of you!! You mean NOTHING to me!”

Parker surged up to the door, her nose scrunched in anger as well as she gripped onto the metal forcefully, snapping his attention to her. “Fine. Then the feeling is mutual. Find another way out of the attic. See if I give a shit.”

Wait.

Everything that had been in the air fell to the ground unceremoniously, the fire of rage extinguishing immediately in favor of one stoking of despair. Belphegor surged forward before he knew what he was doing, his hands flying to the bars and frantically covering theirs where they gripped it, holding them there. Parker looked up at him, eye to eye, with a wild and surprised look in hers at his actions. His looked like they were pleading her something… To stay? Is that what he was doing?

Disgusted by the thought, the demon’s eyes hardened to their guarded state once more and he scoffed, ripping his hands back from atop hers and wiping them off on his sweatshirt anywhere they had touched. “Get out of here,” he spat, tail flicking indignantly as he turned away from her, not wanting to see her idiotic face for another single second. Parker didn’t move at first, but eventually she listened, and left wordlessly.

Belphegor didn’t know if it was going to be the last time. And for some reason, that caused a whole different type of burning sensation within him. 

* * *

A week and a half. That was how long he was alone, left only to himself and his thoughts, which picked and ate away at his entire being until he was minced to tiny Belphegor pieces. Every day, his mind tore himself more apart, trying to desperately shove any unidentified feeling into a box labeled hatred, and crying when they didn’t all fit. He didn’t know what was happening anymore, he didn’t know how he was going to get out of here, didn’t know if he deserved to. He was tired- too tired to bother being awake anymore, and slept a lot, even by his standards. Slept on the bed, fell out of the bed, nested in a pile of pillows and blankets on the ground, and slowly, over time and without him even realizing it, that nest migrated closer and closer towards the door. Towards freedom, towards the source of what little excitement he’d had in his own personal circle of hell. And after a week and a half, he woke up to the noise of quiet scratching. Of quiet scratching from _across the hall_. 

He bolted upright, and found himself staring at the very human he’d yelled at: back. Always come back, just as they’d said they would, back when they told him about that stupid tattoo. She was sitting against the opposite side of the hallway, not against the door like she had used to. Parker seemed to notice his staring, because they put down the pen, but didn’t look up when they spoke. “Sorry if I woke you. Just needed a quiet place the rest of them wouldn’t find me to do my RAD homework.” She picked up the pen again, and the scratching noise started once more, the quiet rasping of her ballpoint against the notebook paper. Belphegor didn’t say anything: he didn’t know what to say, even if he were to speak. So he laid back down, curled up facing her, and simply did what he _did_ know- went back to sleep, right there. And so, that was their new routine. Parker started coming back more often, just like they’d used to. They’d come quietly, and no words were exchanged between the two, Parker quietly working on homework for a while as Belphie drifted in and out of sleep. Then, just as quiet as she’d come, she would leave. And as the days passed, and their argument grew further and further behind them, they began to reach a point of co-existing, at least. Any malice kept (mostly) to themselves, even though Belphegor repeatedly reminded himself every time she left that he was _thankful_ she was gone because he _hated_ her, right?

One of the times, she was sitting against the door once more, when they got… Company.

Lucifer stormed up the stairs to retrieve one of his things from the only other room in the attic, only to freeze in place when he saw the human slumped up against the door he thought he had charmed so she couldn’t see. In her eyes, it should have been a blank wall, completely unsuspecting. So why was she sitting with her back against it?!

Lucifer was quick to morph into his demon form in his anger at her betrayal of his explicit commands to never climb these stairs, and Parker couldn’t help but clutch their notebook a little tighter out of stress. “What did I TELL YOU ABOUT COMING UP HERE?!” Lucifer bellowed, a black and deathly aura surrounding him. “You are BLATANTLY disobeying my orders for you not to come snooping around up here, and now-”

“And now what?! You’ll kill me?” Parker casted her school supplies to the floor, scrambling up to her feet to stand with her fists at her sides. “I don’t know why you’re so insistent on hiding a musty hallway from me. You said you enchanted the stairs so no other demons besides you can use them. Don’t you think I need some peace and quiet away from all of them to do my schoolwork?!” Parker threw their hand out in a sweep to the empty hall, before crossing their hands over their chest. “It’s just like you said. There’s _nothing_ up here.” Lucifer broke his gaze off of the human to look past them, and for the first time in a bit, he and Belphegor locked eyes. He’d also shifted into his demon form at some point- was it when Lucifer first showed hostility? Why was he pent up about that? Certainly it wasn’t out of an underlying wish to protect Parker, not by any means. He hated them. It must have been all his pent-up anger at Lucifer himself, that just… seeing him sparked the violent side in Belphegor as well. That had to be it.

“What?” Parker played dumb, looking over their shoulder right at Belphie, but her eyes lacked focus, as if she were looking straight through him. “What’s so interesting in the wall all of a sudden?”

“Nothing!” Lucifer quickly fell for _her_ trap, the attention off Belphegor once more. And as much as he hated to admit it, and probably wouldn’t accept it, the feeling blossoming in his chest upon realizing she was swindling Lucifer _for him_ was respect. “There is nothing that concerns you up here. You will come back downstairs at once, and if I catch you poking your nose where it does not belong any longer, I will not be so merciful next time.”

“No.” They put their hands on their hips, indignant and unaccepting of the bossing by the eldest brother. “You can’t kill me. That would explicitly be ruining Diavolo’s grand plan of harmony between the three realms.” Belphegor couldn’t completely hide the smile that flashed on his face at that comment, because it was well-placed, and he was quite familiar with using Diavolo against Lucifer, too. “Come ON, Lucifer. You can’t tell me you’ve ever wanted to escape Mammon for an hour? Just one?! Well, I do too, sometimes!! And if I’m to be a dutiful student at RAD, I need a place to privately work- not just my room, I mean a place I _can’t_ be disturbed. Physically can’t. So your options are these: let me do my homework in this dirty and empty attic you’re so adamant against me being in for some fucking reason, or I start asking the boys if they know _why_ that reason is. Your choice.”

Lucifer crossed the room towards Parker, grabbing her by the collar and lifting her off the ground. “You do not call the shots around here,” he reminded her, before placing her feet back on the ground. Never once, in the meanwhile, did the girl so much as tremble at his threats. “You will not inspect anything. You will not poke anything. You will not touch a single thing up here, you will come to the stairs, do your homework, and leave without a word, do you understand me?”

“Fine,” they agreed, smoothing out their hoodie and fixing the drawstrings he’d thrown askew in lifting their body. “I’m amicable. Now let me finish my work and I’ll be back downstairs shortly.”

Lucifer grunted, but shifted back to his lesser form anyways, and left without another word in edgewise. Once he was completely gone, Parker looked over and into the room for the first time since the whole encounter, and stared at Belphegor, who stood frozen and still in his demon form, blinking wildly back at her as if he were still trying to process what just happened.

After a beat of silence, Belphegor shook his head, the horns and tail vanishing into thin air as he did so. He huffed, a light dusting of pink coloring his cheeks as he turned away from the human to face the bed and climb into it, mumbling the first word to her in weeks. “… Thanks.”

Parker cleared their throat awkwardly, pulling their hair out of the ponytail only to re-tie it exactly the same way out of nervous habit. “No problem,” she said just as softly as he had, where the demon wasn’t even sure if he had imagined it, before she stuffed all her things into her backpack and scampered off like a prey item having narrowly escaped a predator. 

Belphie hated it. He hated any human, and anything they did.

He hated how he watched her go even more.

* * *

Parker raced Beel back to the House of Lamentation from RAD, shoving him playfully so they could get a head start in front of him. He was feeling a lot more comfortable around her ever since she’d had to stay in he and Belphie’s room with him, and ever since they’d pacted and he told her the truth about their past, and about Lilith. And while yes, it was fun to race back because Parker always got a kick out of wrestling Beel at the entry gate screaming over each other insistent they got there first, she had extra motive today. She understood now why Belphegor had always acted so cold towards her, and humans as a whole… And she didn’t hold that against him. In fact, they wanted to do whatever they could to help. And once Parker sets their mind on something, they’ll lay down their life before not seeing it through.

Elbowing Beelzebub with a hefty breath, Parker threw her fists in the air in celebration of her victory, a laugh falling from her lips. Beel just threw her over his shoulder in response, saying some sort of teasing to not forget who’s the stronger of the two of them, and Parker thrashed in his grip wildly. “Sorrrreeeee loser!” She cried out, smacking his back jokingly until he let her back onto her feet. “Alright, alright, alright,” they said, wiping their brow of the sweat they’d worked up running, especially in this stuffy uniform. “I really gotta go work on one of my exchange student projects.” Parker bounced on the balls of their feet in anticipation to go change the dynamic between her and Belphegor for the better, but had to keep it to herself for now, despite how badly she wanted to share it with Beel and tell him the truth. “So if anyone asks where I am, can you tell them I’m busy with that?” She already had the house’s entry hall grand doors open, and was slipping inside, too excited to go to let Beel answer. “Thank you!”

She tore up the stairs as quickly as she could, rushed through the portrait hall, and up to the spiral stairs she knew so well by this point. Huffing out an exasperated and shallow breath from all the physical activity, the human girl treaded up those as well, dropping her backpack as soon as she reached the top of the flight. “Hey, I wanted to talk-”

Parker stopped her sentence cold when she laid her eyes upon the demon she was addressing- he was swaddled up in an oversized blanket, with his back pressed against the metal grate. His horns were visible- was he asleep? Or was he just resting? 

The dark-haired girl crossed over to the grate quietly, gingerly sitting herself down on the other side of it, facing him. This was probably the closest they’d been yet, and certainly the most peaceful. “Hey, it’s me, Parker. Are you awake?”

They watched as his body twitched a little after she spoke, before hearing a soft repetitive thud coming from him. Her eyes instinctively went to the source of it and… Was he… He was _wagging his tail_?! He certainly wasn’t awake, that much she could ascertain from up this close and the lack of otherwise response, but could he hear her? Subconsciously? Or was he just having a dream or something?

She couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at the innocence of it, and that only made the thumping grow faster, a peaceful look spreading across Belphegor’s face before he buried it in his cow-patterned pillow.

“Can you hear me?” Parker asked, but got no reply. The wagging slowed to an eventual stop, the long tail only occasionally flicking much like human world cows did when there were flies around them. Maybe he was just dreaming after all. “Well, I hope you can. I’ll stay here as long as I can without getting into trouble, but I know you can sleep for much longer, and I don’t know that I’ll have the balls to say it when you’re awake, so let me tell you now.”

She pressed her fingers to the grate, coiling them around one of the bottom squares just above where the back of his shawl was pressed against it. “Beelzebub told me about her. And I wanted to tell you I’m sorry… I’m sure no human’s ever apologized to you before, huh? Well, then let me be the first, even if it’s while you’re not listening. I’m sorry about Lilith, I’m sorry you had to experience that. I have family back in the human world, too- no siblings, just my dad. But if anyone ever took him away from me, well, I would hate them unconditionally for eons, too.” Parker shifted from kneeling to sitting so their back was against the door, not wanting to creepily watch him sleep any longer than they already had. “I just wanted to let you know… That I understand now. And I don’t hold it against you. And no matter whether we fight, or if you say something rude to me, I will not stop helping you until I get you out of this attic to talk to Lucifer. I promise.”

They began to examine the ceiling of the hallway, resting the back of their head against the door as well, leaving the both of them flush with only a mere inch of enchanted metal between them. “You said we’re not friends. And you’re right, we’re not. But one day, I hope we will be. And I also hope that you feel the same way, despite your predisposition.” Seconds after her words, Belphegor’s tail poked through the grate, and in his sleep he wrapped it around Parker’s arm absentmindedly. She flushed bright red at the sudden affectionate gesture, wondering if he knew. Wondering if secretly, somehow, his unconscious self was betraying his true feelings, beyond the angry and cold front he always put on. 

Gently running their fingers over the bushy tuft of hair before letting it fall back into their lap, Parker smiled, hoping that was his way of telling her: he did.


	2. Chapter 2

It all started with that nightmare.

It wasn’t the first time he’d vividly dreamt this exact sequence, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. However, the series of events’ familiarity to him did nothing to lessen the pain of every time he experienced them. Survivor’s guilt was funny like that.

The dream never wavered from the same timeline it always was: he was back up there. _They_ were back up there, the three of them: himself, Beelzebub, and Lilith. His own wings skinned from his back, never to regrow. The golden blood drooling from the wounds soaking his baggy clothing and staining it black instead, as they were being cast from Grace. Celestial Platinum arrowtips were pointed at both he and his little sister by two Cherubs, with Beel caught in the middle, given an ultimatum. He was undergoing his own demonic transformation in the meanwhile; his once strong and billowing wings made of pure feathers fell out in droves, leaving exposed, plucked skin, morphing away any sense of dignity into a fragile shape of an insect’s. Amidst his pain of the shifting, Beelzebub caught eye contact with Belphegor, who didn’t have the strength to put a voice behind the words he mouthed to his twin brother.

“ _Save her_.”

And, in his dream, Beel actually listened. He watched as his brother leapt in front of Lilith instead of himself, and cried out in agony as the arrowheads pierced his skin, prickling like a wildfire across his body until it engulfed him completely and everything was dark.

But he was not dead. That would be too easy. The worst part of the nightmare was not being attacked. The worst part was being alone, and suffering.

He writhed in his sleep whenever he dreamt it. He knew, because whenever he woke up, whenever the world decided he had endured enough, and that he needed a reminder that he never got the chance to shoulder the pain Lilith had to bear instead, the bed was a mess. The blankets twisted and tangled around his ankles- a sign of their 3 round wrestling match- the sheets were ripped off the corners of the bed and riding up the exposed mattress, and the pillows were strewn across the headboard and floor, many of them damp with what could only be involuntary tears.

That’s why it was _very_ unfortunate for it to have catalyzed everything that happened.

Parker untucked themselves from the corner behind the staircase they had been hiding behind when the Lucifer of her dream-sequence-like vision walked out of he and Belphegor’s argument, before fading away before her very eyes. She had been hiding from nothing, the whole verbal altercation had been… Inserted into her head, almost. Recovering a memory she never had. Already at an emotional wit’s end from having to lie to the brothers of the past, the human girl shook her head violently, trying to focus on what she’d come here for. Go back, they’d said. Don’t talk to anyone, they’d said. Find out how Belphegor escaped. Find out what force freed him. That was what her assigned task by Diavolo had been, with promise if she did so that Belphegor could walk free of his shackles again. She didn’t care if he’d hate her anyways once he was free… It wasn’t important. She had made up her mind long ago she was going to get him out, so the seven of them could be together again. Her own personal matters were not concerned in that goal. She would be leaving them after the year ended, anyways… There was a time and a place to be selfish, and this was neither. Parker couldn’t quit now, not when they were so close.

A quiet whimpering snapped her back to the past’s reality: Belphegor. It was his voice. And he didn’t know she was there, he couldn’t have possibly… So the choked sobs she was hearing must have been _genuine_.

“Someone… anyone… please…”

Parker sprinted up the spiral staircase, the toe of their sneaker catching on the lip of one of the stairs and making her trip, but she caught herself on the railing before it became a total wipeout. Hurrying over to the door she’d come to know so well, she could see now that Belphegor was sleeping, but his body was contorted into what looked like an awfully uncomfortable position, and his head dangled over the edge, allowing Parker to see the twisted and pained look on his face as he pleaded once more. “Someone… Help me…”

In horror, the human placed their hands flat against the metal as they peered in with a quiet gasp, wishing there was something they could do,and knowing they couldn’t. But something… changed, this time.

The door opened, sliding on its own, until there was nothing left but air between Parker and the restless demon.

They were shocked still at first- all those weeks? Or was it months? That she had come up here, she had _definitely_ touched the door before. Leaned against it for hours and hours on end, even. There was no way _she_ was the one who opened it…!

Belphegor throwing himself into another fit of convulsions snapped her out of the freeze, and Parker rushed over to the bedside out of instinct, before she even knew what she was doing. They gently cupped the back of his head with one hand and used the other to push his upper body back onto the bed as he writhed, then shoved their hands back into their pockets to respect the distaste she knew he had for her. His face was still screwed into a seething wince, and his bangs clung to his forehead amidst the panicked sweat. Parker couldn’t help but lean forward onto the bed a little, concern etched in their brow.

“Belphegor…” She tried, but it was hesitant and quiet, as she hadn’t committed to the attempt to wake him. He kicked the sheets again, a choked sob falling from his chapped lips.

“…Lilith…!” His body shuddered, and he desperately clung to the pillow that had wormed its way down from his head to his sides, clutching to it with a death grip that made his knuckles pale. “I-I miss you…! Lilith..!!”

Seeing him like this, given how lax and demeaning he always had carried himself, made Parker’s stomach drop. Their own throat was feeling heavy right now in grief _for_ him, and all she could do is shake her head. “I’m sorry…” Parker spoke quietly, and they meant for everything. For bothering him, for not opening the door sooner, for intruding now of all times, on such a vulnerable moment. And most notably, sorry from a human, as a representative of what he saw to be the ones who stole Lilith away from him.

Belphegor groaned, rolling over once more, but his face was a little less twisted, a little more soothed. “…Mm…” he whined, before his eyes lazily peeked open, staring right at her.

And that’s where everything _really_ started to go wrong.

“…!” The demon bolted upright once he realized what he was seeing, Parker quickly scrambling to their feet as well and backing away from him until they nearly lost their footing over a strewn blanket on the floor, then stopped, holding their hands up half-heartedly. “Wh-what are **you** doing here…?!”

“I-I…!” Parker fumbled on their words, but realistically they really didn’t _have_ an explanation.

“What’s going on?!” Belphegor interrupted her anyways, saving her the trouble. His chest was still heaving from the terror he’d felt in the dream, but now it mixed with heart-racing of whatever the hell was happening here. His eyes were the size of saucers, and they frantically flashed between himself and the human he’d begrudgingly come to know, trying to make sense of the matter even though he couldn’t even think a single thought straight in his rapidly-increasing panic. “Parker, how did you get in here?! I mean, the only one who can get in here is Luci-”

His eyes suddenly snapped to the open doorway, and his chest stilled right then and there altogether. Parker swore he stopped breathing, and would have taken a step towards him, if he didn’t look like he’d seen a ghost and would crumble at the slightest of movements. His voice held a thousand tremors as it filled the space between them again. “D-Did you do that?! Did **you** open it…?!?”

Parker found that his wild and bewildered eyes were suddenly fixed now on _her_ , and so she sputtered the most truthful response she could: “I-I don’t know…!”

“But…!” His panic instantly flushed into a manic, eyes practically glowing in their crazed and elated state. He was too high on potential freedom to stop himself, and the words came out all at once, as if he had no control. Belphegor leapt to his feet, closing the distance between them, a terribly large and toothy smile on his lips. “It had to have been you! This is _AMAZING_ , Parker!!” He laughed, so jubilantly, and Parker wanted to believe in his happiness. She wanted this to be real, yet she saw the way his fingers still shook and rattled. Was he really okay?

And the truth was, she was right. He couldn’t see. His vision was blurry from ecstatic tears and overloaded emotions that coursed through his veins and shook him to his very core to where he had no control left in his body. “Oh, Parker, you’ve set me free!! You’ve released me from this prison! You’ve saved me!! Thank you so much!!” He was in a daze. So far in the daze his tongue spoke these things without consulting his mind first, his body jumped in childlike excitement, and part of him felt as if it were in a dream. His mind whirred a million miles a minute and was silent all at the same time: an emotional blackout. “I knew it!!” He cried, beginning to tug at his hair. “I knew you’d come through for me!” Belphegor laughed again, but it was more airy than the first, as he’d been forgetting to breathe amidst everything happening all at once. Parker was still frozen in a flinched back position in shock at his surge of mania and bubbly behavior, her eyes darting all over in attempt to sort what was happening. They wanted to believe it, so so bad. They wanted this to be the beginning of something new, the start of a new leaf turned over between the two of them, the first step towards helping Belphegor heal himself of his trauma. But all they could do was stare in bewilderment as he burst into another fit of giggles at the irony of it all.

“In any event, Parker, oh, all I can do is thank you…!” The demon grabbed her by her upper-arms, and Parker squeaked, taken aback by the affectionate gesture. “Now I can finally do what I set out to do!!” He was so elated he looked like he could kiss her. But instead, he stepped back and let go, opening his arms to invite her into a hug. She hesitated, at first, but the hopefulness inside her chest got the better of her in the end. Parker stepped forward into the embrace, accepting it firmly in desperate hopes that this meant he could recover from all he’d been through, that maybe, just maybe, she had helped him get that jumpstart.

Belphegor enveloped the smaller girl in his arms, tucking her beneath his chin and burying his nose into the top of her hair. “This brings back memories,” he breathed, feeling a sense of stillness finally arriving within him as he slowly began to fall from the emotional daze, grounded by her touch. “I wonder… How long has it been since I’ve felt the touch of a human like this?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, **everything** crashed within him. Suddenly he was hyper aware of the situation, of how tight his chest felt, of how fast everything spiraled downward until it ground into the deepest and most hellish parts of him. A HUMAN! HUGGING HIM! How could he have been so _stupid_?! How could he have fallen for such a deceitful manipulation scheme?!? His arms’ grip became steely as every fiber of his being tensed up in a panicked frenzied rage, a furious red blocking out his entire vision. He would not let _them_ do the same thing one had done to his sister. He would not put his family through that again. He couldn’t believe how much of an IDIOT he was to even let one of those _things_ get this close!! To TOUCH him! Not anymore. Not to him, not to his brothers; he would end this little exchange program right here, right now. And there was no Diavolo or Lucifer here to stop him.

“So, Parker…” Belphegor could feel his heartbeat pick up faster as his breathing grew maniacal, heavy and intense inhales followed by broken exhales as all the blood rushed back to his face at once, making him feel on fire. Somewhere, in the back of his head, he registered that his horns and tail had manifested themselves on the physical plane, but all of his blinded focus was on the girl now frozen in his grasp. He felt himself beginning to glow in a dark and powerful aura, which only clouded his mind even further as he began to hiss his words rather than speak them. “How can I _express_ what I’m feeling right now?!” His jaw rattled from the extent of the turmoil boiling inside of him, showcasing itself to project onto her instead of himself. Because deflecting the blame to the humans was, and had always been, much easier for him to cope with than accepting all the fingers pointing and sneering directly at _him_. “What can I do…?”

The demon began to laugh when the adamant girl physically struggled in his iron grip: an empty, delusional laugh that betrayed just how irrational and unpresent he was right now. Parker could see, from the mere inches away from him she’d managed to wrestle, the gloss in his eyes. How cloudy the usually-sharp-violet irises were. “ _Stop_ ,” they commanded forcefully, still trying to slither out of his inhumanly strong seize. Certainly he wouldn’t listen to _their_ pleas, so Parker tried to use their knowledge of his emotional motivators in a desperate attempt to ground him from his frenzy. “Beelzebub would be very upset with you if you hurt me…!” 

It was the wrong move.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK AS IF YOU KNOW HIM BETTER THAN I DO!!” The Sloth demon spat in Parker’s face as he screamed, his grip readjusting to instead be tightly around her neck now, and he hadn’t even felt it. Her choked gasp at his assault only made him chuckle twistedly, some deep pit within his stomach screaming out and goading him on in his crazed buzz. “You humans really are foolish, idiotic, weak creatures, aren’t you?!” His thumbs pressed into the soft flesh between her tendons, a sickening fanged smile growing when he felt her reaching up to try and pry his hands away. “You’re so stupid that I cant help but laugh. Don’t blame me for tricking you, blame yourself for _falling for it_.”

Belphegor could feel his heartbeat in his eyeballs, he was in such a heightened state. The black smoky aura blotted out the room around them, leaving only him and Parker. They were all that existed, all that mattered. What a shame, though- she didn’t even bother to look scared. Surely this would have all been much more fun if he got to see the terror in her face, but stupidly, _irritatingly_ , she was nearly unfazed. Even had the nerve to look a little _ticked off_ , as if Belphegor were asking for her last piece of gum, not strangling her forcefully.

It only pissed him off even more.

“Don’t you get it? **I hate** humans. **I hate them more than anything in the three realms**.”

Parker grit their teeth when Belphegor’s thumb pads pressed on their windpipe, but, stupidly stubborn as ever, refused to let such a thing deter them from snapping out a raspy snap back at him in return. “Who are you trying to convince, repeating that so often? Me, or _you_?”

The demon let out a bloodcurdling scream, lifting her off the ground, and the girl’s thrashing and clawing at his shaky but white-knuckled grip did nothing to help her out. He found himself laughing again, but it was more of a mix of screeching than true laughter, and scornful tears pricked the corners of his eyes, only blurring everything even more than it already had been. “Does it hurt…?” He forced a twisted grin on his face, telling himself he did more than naturally experiencing any pleasure he derived from watching them grow discolored. “Finding it hard to breathe? I’m sure it must be **_very_** unpleasant.”

“You think this will end things…?!” Parker’s voice was gravelly and sporadic, her wheezes and gasps for air growing more desperate as the seconds passed. “You can’t… kill me…!! I’m not finis…” They scratched harshly the backs of his hands, eyes shining in physical response to deathly force, but that stupid know it all and determined fire was still lit within them. “-shed!! No matter what… you do to me…!! I’m like a st-” They coughed, interrupting, but never gave up. “Like a starfish, remember?! …You dumb…ass!! You can try…!! But I won’t be stopped…!!”

His deranged huffing morphed into half-assed maniac chuckles as he gripped tighter, not wanting to hear her say another single word. She had put enough of her malicious human poison into his brain to rot, and he would not stand for any more. 

Parker’s eyes were growing foggy, and began to lack depth to them, before rolling back and shutting completely. Asphyxia. Finally, she would shut up. Finally, her hands fell from his, denoting the end of her struggle. Finally, her puny little human will to live gave out.

Or it least it should have. But Parker was a _very_ strange human, as it turned out.

Belphegor was still in his dangerous emotional high when he carted the girl downstairs, almost downright prideful of his work as his brothers fretted over her, and he even snickered all the while. Didn’t they see? He had done them a _favor_ , he had gotten rid of the pesky human who had been where she didn’t belong for far too long. 

But Levi was the first to notice them. And while Parker still wasn’t 100% solid on what the _hell_ was happening around here when they stepped into view, or why they remembered everything that happened when clearly it had _physically_ happened to the Parker that Mammon was clinging to in the entryway to the house, they just clutched the railing, peering down over the whole scene unfolding. Her eyes scanned all of them over, taking in their surprise, before meeting and landing on Belphegor’s, who was still blatantly in a state of dissociation and craze, based on the distant stare back and how he trembled. She narrowed her look into a glare, her grip on the metal growing tight as she shook her head lightly at his disbelief. “What did I fuckin’ tell you?” Parker swore under their breath, too far to be heard, but the way his fingers curled into shaky fists told them he received the message.

Their little stare down was interrupted by the dying Parker’s complete disappearance from this reality, which threw the room back into chaos. “W-What the hell?!” The Avatar of Sloth’s chest began to heave as he tugged fistfuls of his hair, eyes darting and frantic. “H-How could a human have the willpower to cling to life like that?!”

Alive (and now the only) Parker made their way down the stairs in attempt to keep the brothers from killing each other, and yet again successfully managed to find _herself_ on the receiving end of the death threats, from none other than Belphie himself. “C-Certainly that willpower has to have a limit, right?!?” He’d done it once. He could do it again, was itching to, even! Anything to right how they’d _wronged_ Lilith, how humans had ruined his family, sibling by sibling, and wouldn’t stop until they were all torn apart. He didn’t care if he was charged of treason. He didn’t care if he was thrown back into the attic, in fact. He didn’t have any rational thought at all, actually, and his nerves were simply so burnt out from over-exertion for so long and in such a delusional mental state that they simply stopped working altogether.

“BELPHIE!” Lucifer shouted, but the youngest brother didn’t hear him. Didn’t hear any of their cries for him to stop, didn’t hear anyone at all until the damned human themselves opened their stupid big mouth.

“Wait!” Parker commanded, and so much as _dared_ to shove a palm at his chest, keeping him at arm’s length away from her. 

Belphegor seethed, his hair sticking to his paling skin in unappealing tendrils and cascading in front of his glowering eyes as he spat back, infuriated by their gall to speak to him in such a manner. “Oh, pray tell, little worthless human. Why _should I?!_ ”

Nothing in the world could have prepared him for the truth.

Parker blurted out the reality about Lilith’s rebirth, about how Lucifer traded his free will to Diavolo for her life, and how she lived it out as a human. The eldest brother himself confirmed what she spoke as truth, quelling the rest of the brothers to listen. Or at least, all but one of them.

Belphegor’s mind was swirling as he collapsed to his knees, his rattling fingers knit deep into his hair and practically ripping it out as the first of many sobs escaped. What had he _d o n e_? If this was true, that meant he…! That meant all this time, his hatred of humans… his absolute beloved sister was one of them…! That he hated _her_!

That was it, then: it _couldn’t be true_. Please, he was begging as the words came out: “YOU’RE LYING…!!!” His lips quivered as he choked on his following words, all the gusto and violence he’d had in his intense and dissociative state crashing down around him like deafening pillars all at once. What had he done?! What had he **_d o n e_**?! “Lies lies lies lies LIES!! ALL OF IT!!!”

Part of him was talking about what Parker said. Believing a human?! I mean, come on!

But a larger portion was talking to himself: all this time? All these eons of hatred, of malice, of violent behavior, it was built on _lies_?! And he was just meant to live with that guilt?

“I-I don’t believe it…!!! Lilith…!!” He gripped his wobbly knees, feeling dizzyingly present whereas he hadn’t before. Hadn’t since he woke up, actually. What had happened in that daze? What was happening _now_?

Just to put a neat little cherry on top of his destabilizing crash back to reality, Lord Fucking Diavolo himself decided to make a grand entrance into the house to announce what Belphegor had already been fearing: there was a little bit of Lilith inside of Parker. That they were connected to her, in spirit, and sent to this literal hellhole on his sweet, sweet sister’s wish.

And he’d killed them. He’d directly worked against the wishes of Lilith’s soul, and if Parker weren’t such a stubborn and lucky bastard, he would have quashed his sister’s one last dream.

He watched as his brothers surged around them, all dogpiling on the human he’d spent all that time talking through the grate with on stolen hours together in the attic, the human who constantly put themselves on the line for him over and over again, the human he’d watched take their last breath by his own hands.

He shook much more violently now, another terribly ill-timed realization burning itself into the forefront of his mind: he was so insistent to himself he hated Parker because he couldn’t possibly bear to fathom the fact he actually respected, and might even quite like them. Because doing so had felt like he was forgetting about Lilith, when really all his forced anger was the betrayal all this time. Even when he’d tried to make things right, all he did was screw up.

“Belphegor…?” _Don’t speak my name_ , he mentally hissed to Diavolo upon hearing the Prince’s voice, but his bloodshot and teary eyes snapped up to look at the royal demon in obedience anyways. “Don’t you want to hug Parker?”

And for the first time since the Celestial War, he actually admitted to himself that he did. His chest ached in agony, and even if he wanted to, he couldn’t. Especially given the fact it was a hug that had triggered all of this panic within him, still swirling and residual, but no longer in control. Just enough to make him flighty and sick. 

“It can’t be…” He insisted, but it came out as more of a plea than anything else. Parker had even fucking recited the last words Lucifer said to Lilith, I mean, how could she have done that if this wasn’t the truth?? How could he still be delusionally hoping he wasn’t at fault for everything? “It **can’t** be!! I REFUSE to believe it…!!” Belphegor’s choked sobs fought their way out of his chest once more, strangling him on their exit. Just like how he had strangled her. He figured that was what he deserved, and so he didn’t even try to fight it.

“S-Someone must be tricking me…! Trying to lure me into a trap…!! That must be it!!” His voice was full of tremors and cracks, but he didn’t escalate into a true panic again. He was simply too tired. Too exhausted. He was the Avatar of Sloth after all, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ditch and sleep. And if he was lucky, never wake up. “Well I’m not buying it…!!”

Everyone was silent, unknowing what to say. Everyone but Parker, who broke the quiet spell that had been filled only with Belphegor’s sputtering sobs, taking a step away from the group embrace and towards him, before stopping so they were still far enough to have a comfortable distance between them, almost as if the gate had never left. “I’m sorry.” Their words had a bit of an aggressive bite to them, but come on!! Were humans really that stupid to apologize to their murderer?

…Were demons really that stupid to murder someone that made them question their wrongful blaming of an entire race?

“I’m sorry that you had to find out this way.”

Belphegor grit his teeth in pain as he wiped his sniveling nose on his sleeve, staring up at the girl he’d become so familiar with the past few months. His brothers’ offers of rationale fell on deaf ears, for he was too busy trying to find something to say. Something to fix things.

Some wounds were too big to fix with bandages alone.

“I-I…” Belphegor began, before a new wave of sobs racked at his chest and sent him doubling over even more than he already had been, curling on the floor in his fit of sobs. “I-I’m so sorry…!” He spat out the apology, unsatisfied with how it didn’t sound genuine enough to convey how much remorse was swallowing him whole. He was drowning in it. It enveloped him completely, every single fiber of his being, as he rose his voice again. “It was my fault,” he admitted for the very first time. All of it. All this while he had been shoving, shoving, shoving all the hatred and blame onto humans, onto his brother for not saving her instead. But it never was their fault. He was just too much of a coward to admit that it was his. It was always his. “All of it…!! It was **all** my fault…!!!” He wailed, confession after confession spewing from his lips, one after another. How if he had never been interested in humans, she never would have either. How if he had just tried harder to protect her during the war, when she was _right beside him_ … 

Beel and Levi chimed in to console him, but it was the eldest who calmly walked over and placed his hand on Belphie’s shoulder, shaking his head. “No. You’ve got it all wrong.” The younger brother shot a weak glare at Lucifer, figuring at first he was just shoving it in his face in a moment of vulnerability. But to his surprise, Lucifer comforted him. “It wasn’t your fault, Belphie.” He sighed, and even as composed as Lucifer usually was, the breath was shuttered. “I wish I’d told you that sooner.”

Nothing stayed crazy forever. Belphegor was miraculously pardoned from his charge of treason as per Parker’s request, but it was clear she had done so for her own headstrong need to have completed her goal of reuniting the 7 of them, not actually for his sake. He moved his occupancy back into he and Beel’s shared bedroom, and after he’d run out of tears to shed, his body gave into its immense exhaustion. And he slept. He slept for multiple days on end, only emerging from consciousness every time Beel physically shook him awake and forced him to join them all for meals, and he was silent all the while.

Whenever he arrived at the table, he watched as everyone went quiet. He watched how his presence quieted all the conversations to a lull, how suddenly the room grew tense, awkward even. Watched as his brothers all threw themselves at Parker relentlessly, and paid him no mind even though they hadn’t really seen each other in months now. Watched as every time he and Parker caught eye contact, they immediately broke it and focused on one of his other brothers instead, not wanting to engage in _any_ conversation with him, verbal or not. And he didn’t blame them. Not one bit. But nevertheless, it hurt. His chest ached with how bad it hurt, knowing how willing she had been to forgive him earlier. Knowing how he’d taken that chance and absolutely threw it in the garbage, all because of his stupid deflection of loathing onto her when it always was meant to really be for himself.

Things began to settle in this new normal. He would stay quiet, go to school (usually, at least), attend meals, and sleep between each. Every time he so much as saw Parker his stomach rolled over within him, filled with dread and shame and _regret_ . She was avoiding him, that much was clear. Whenever they were the only two left in a classroom packing up their books, she bolted out of the room, calling some taunt after Mammon so she had an excuse not to talk to him. Whenever he offered to refill her glass at dinner, she waved him off, insisting Asmo was closer anyways, and he could just do it for her, no need to bother. But the underlying words were clear: _I don’t want you to. I don’t trust you._

The more they avoided him, the more Belphegor realized how deluded he had been in his hatred mindset. He realized he missed Parker’s snide remarks directed at him, that he found himself wanting to banter and tease each other again, like they did before. He realized he always secretly liked when they tapped their pen on their notepad in absentminded focus on their RAD homework, the stupid little quirks like how they wiggled their shoulders when they got frustrated. How she would never shut up at first, and always asked so so many nosy questions. All those things he had taken for granted, told himself he despised… He found he was wishing for again.

He was out of the attic, sure. But what was the point? Was the supposed freedom really worth all this existential dread that came with it?

And yet, he knew it was what he deserved. He’d been out of control. The bottled in years- millenia- worth of spite and despise he forced himself to hold in a desperate attempt to escape the blame had been let loose, rampaging without any reigning in until he’d utterly and completely ruined _everything_ . Of course no one wanted to talk to him. He didn’t even want to _be_ him, but well, there wasn’t much he could really do about that.

Almost an entire week of silent suffering and gentle prodding by Beel had passed before Belphegor finally cracked. He told Beel the truth as they lie awake in their bedroom: all of the truth. How Parker had always stolen away upstairs to see him. How their acquaintanceship was always tentative at best, how he’d been so foolish to push them away all the time, how scared he had been at how much her presence comforted him. How much he enjoyed it, and how much he almost envied Beel now, for he was one of her closest friends. He begged his twin brother to share anything he knew on how Belphie could fix things, any ideas he had to help him ask for their forgiveness, and collapsed in the hungry demon’s open arms in a complete moment of vulnerability. He wanted to fix things more than anything else; it was becoming the topic of nearly his every waking thought. How could he remedy such a big mistake? How could he possibly hope to mend things after something like that?

Belphegor was ripe in the height of his 7PM moping when it happened.

“Beel!! Mammon’s about to race Levi in Mario Kart in the common room, and they bet TWENTY THOUSAND GRIMM on i-!” The bedroom door had swung open to reveal the owner of the voice, but Belphegor had recognized it the instant he heard it in his ears. Their sentence stopped cold the minute they saw it was only him present in the room, shoulders visibly falling from excited to guarded, like a stab in the Sloth demon’s gut. “...Oh,” Parker whispered in recognition, instinctively crossing their arms over their chest and finding sudden interest in the wall, then the floor. Anywhere but at him. “Sorry if I interrupted your sleep, I uh, I was looking for Beel.”

He hadn’t been sleeping, and stealing a peek up at his blotchy pink face, Parker could see that now. His eyes were red around the rims and reflected the overhead light particularly strongly, and she could tell she had interrupted something far less enjoyable than an evening nap. Belphegor didn’t say anything; he was frozen in shock. He hadn’t had time to rehearse. Hadn’t picked the perfect words to express how he was feeling, and yet, here they were, all attention on him for the first time in almost two weeks now. His one golden opportunity, and he was too unable to process things to even try and fix it. The silence that settled had so much palpable awkward tension draped between them that it could probably be cut with a knife, and Parker found themselves shifting their weight between their feet anxiously before sucking a sharp inhale and jabbing their thumb over their shoulder. “I’ll um. Let you get back to it, it’s not a big deal anyways,” she began to turn away, reaching for the door hastily to escape the confrontation, and seeing her slip right between his fingertips again was enough to jumpstart Belphegor to life.

“Wait!” The demon surged forward all at once as the timid plea flew from his lips, his fingers curling around the wrist trailing behind her as she’d turned to flee. Parker immediately ripped it out of his grasp on instinct as she whirled back to face him again, clutching it close to her chest protectively. And for a split second, barely even a blink before they buried it deep within them, Belphegor saw what hurt him the most of anything since realizing what he’d done: fear. Parker masked it well, hid it far far away immediately in favor of putting on a brave face, but he _saw_ it for the first few milliseconds after they’d pivoted back to face him. Strong, brave, adamant Parker was _afraid of him_.

“Sorry,” he whispered, mirroring her in clutching his offending hand that had grabbed her on its own, as well. The Avatar of Sloth fumbled backwards, nearly tripping in his attempt to give her space, so he was no longer encroaching anymore. His fingertips seared in firey pain where his skin had touched theirs, burning in yet another unwanted physical contact mistake. How could he have been so _stupid_? “I’m so sorry,” Belphegor breathed, feeling his waterline grow heavy with the weight of overwhelming tears threatening to spill. “Parker, I…”

He clenched his teeth and turned his face, breaking the eye contact. What was he supposed to say? What would be enough to actually express everything he’d come to realize? 

Belphegor felt the tremors begin to take over his upper body, rattling his ribs around his chest cavity in all the emptiness that he felt in there. He didn’t mean to cry. He was not the victim here. This was not Pity-Belphie-Hours, and for once in his God-forsaken life he wasn’t trying to manipulate anyone to get out of a situation. He genuinely wanted to make things right, to explain how wrong he was, how he realized that now, how he understood if she would never forgive him. 

Upon seeing him starting to tremble, Parker couldn’t help but take a step forward, her glare softening back to her deepest root: the want to help him. When Belphegor saw this, he practically leapt backwards like a scared cat, shaking his head violently from side to side in protest as the first salty tear tore its way down his cheek. He held out his hands defensively, eyes wide from behind the hair that fell in front of them. “Don’t,” he whimpered, “Please…! P-please don’t come any closer… I-I… What if I hurt you again…? Please… Please stay back,” the demon was downright begging, the lump in his throat feeling like it was the size of a golf ball. “I-I never want to hurt you again, and if it means being distant, then… then so be it…!” Belphegor gasped brokenly for air, trying and failing to regain composure. “I was wrong, I-I was so _wrong_ , P-Parker…!” He clutched the sweatshirt fabric that hung over his chest, taking comfort in squeezing the fistful of soft material as he shut his eyes to blink the wetness out of them. “You… You were never the stupid one. _I_ was. I-I… I was too scared to see that, too idiotic and pathetic to be grateful for everything you’d done… For your p-persistence… For you, Parker. I’m so… I’m so sorry…!!” Belphie dug the heels of his hands against his eye sockets in a brash attempt to drive away the choked sobs that were ruining his apology. This wasn’t supposed to be about _him_ . It was supposed to be about _them_ , and how they deserved so much more. 

Steeling himself with a sharp seethe in, Belphegor forced his blurry and red eyes met Parker’s, whose were pitiful and softened. He didn’t deserve it. “I’m sorry,” he croaked out unevenly, trying his best to straighten his posture to make himself more presentable. “I-I regret it. All of it, I regret it so… s-so fucking much, I promise…!” The dark haired boy let his eyelids flutter shut to offer another shake of the head, much smaller and less frantic this time. “I will never, _ever_ forgive myself for any of this. For being the reason Lilith died, for shoving the b-blame onto humans all this time, for treating you so badly just because I was a bitter demon with a broken heart.” He gagged, nauseous from the violent crying, but shoved it back down into his abdomen to deal with later. On his own. “A-And you shouldn’t forgive me either. I-I don’t deserve it, I-I just…! I-I just wanted to tell you the truth! And let you know that I’m… I am… So terribly sorry, for everything.” 

Parker was silent, their mouth slightly agape as they listened to his every word. They didn’t know what to say, honestly- it was heart wrenching and relieving all at once, hearing him confess to such a thing. But he interpreted her silence as stubbornness, and his body felt like it was being ripped into bits and pieces before thrown into the fireplace in the library that Satan liked to read beside. He stumbled backwards and fell onto his bed, not even bothering to fight the gravity tearing him down until his back collided with the mattress. Any wind that was in his lungs were expelled upon impact in a hefty and loaded sigh, his bottom lip quivering with the threat of more racking sobs to come. “Beel’s gone to Hell’s Kitchen for a post-dinner snack,” he mumbled quietly, giving her an escape route should she be looking for one. And of course she was looking for one: I mean, who would want to share a room with their murderer any longer than they had to? “S-So he’s probably still there, it takes them about 27 minutes before kicking him out on a-average.” Belphegor rolled over so his back was to them, unable to look at the face he’d terrorized any longer. His whole body had adapted the shivering, now, which rattled his own teeth in his skull it was so violent. He could feel the tears prickling and sticking to his eyelashes again and screwed them shut, hoping to at least keep them in until she left. He thought he’d made enough of a fool of himself for today; no need to make her witness round 2.

He waited, waited for the soft sound of the bedroom door clicking shut as she left… But it never came. Instead, he felt himself grow stiff as a board when small fingers softly brushed the hair back out of his face, accompanied with the bed dipping beside him. His eyes shot open from the startle, wildly searching in disbelief of what they were seeing. Parker’s hand slipped out of his hair once it reached the white tips, before immediately burying back in at the roots and repeating the movement to soothe him. They pursed their lips in thought, eyebrows knitted in a furrow as she looked down at him from her spot sitting on the edge of the bed. “W-W-What are you…?” He asked, but they just shook their head with a small knowing smile spreading on their lips, letting their free hand fall still on his chest while the other still carded. 

“You still don’t get it,” Parker spoke softly, and a tiny laugh even fell from their lips after saying so. “I don’t give up… And I mean, _ever_ .” The thumb of the hand in his hair had the gall to skim itself over Belphegor’s splotchy cheek, but only for half a second. “Yes, I’ve needed some time to… Cope, with everything that happened.” Parker stilled, their eyes falling to the damp clutch of wrinkled sweater that lay flat against his breastbone. “I’m still going to. Need some time, I mean. But once I have, I…” They met his eyes again, flashing a quick and closed-lipped smile to let him know everything was alright. Or at least, was going to be. “I’m willing to try and mend things. I know an _unwise_ demon once told me we were very much so _not_ friends, but…” She trailed off with a hint of a knowing smirk, and Belphegor felt his lips pressing into a line in amusement. He even almost- almost- rolled his eyes at the tease. It was the first time he’d actually openly allowed himself to convey his amusement at her snarky attitude, and it felt liberating. Like he was coming home, yet it was to a place he’d never lived. “I always hoped one day we would be.” Parker allowed their hand to begin its gentle combing once more, a few wisps of jet black hair that hadn’t reached her ponytail framing her face when she shook her head. “I decided I wanted to help you, back then, that first night. Granted I was told I was helping _a human,_ ” her teeth shone in the coy statement, and this time, Belphie didn't hold back the snide snicker he felt bubbling within him.

“Yeah, yeah,” he goaded, a small and broken smile adorning his face as she laughed. 

“ **But** , the point is,” Parker took a deep inhale, reining the conversation back to serious. “I decided that myself. And when I decide something, I do _not_ change my mind on it. No matter what obstacles are thrown my way, no matter how anyone tries to tear me down-”

“You’re like a starfish,” Belphegor blurted, his hands ghosting over hers softly, holding them there. Parker looked down at him in surprise, before a pleased look took over her features as she nodded in agreement, and he laughed. It was only once, and it was interrupted by a stutter from his body still shaking, but it was a laugh nonetheless. 

They slipped their hands out from underneath his, drawing them back in towards themselves to aimlessly pick at the pilling sheets of the bed. “I’ve gotten this far,” they reasoned, before meeting his eyes briefly again. “I’m sure as hell not quitting now.”

The demon tilted his head upwards and away from her, roughly jabbing his thumbs’ finger pads against his eyes in an attempt to get rid of the residual tears that still clung to his waterlines. “You should get going, though,” Belphegor gestured, not wanting to push for too much growth in one sitting. He didn’t have her forgiveness, not yet, but he had a promising hope for it, and that was a million times more than enough for him to be happy with. “You’re going to miss Mammon screaming like the life is escaping him every time he gets hit with a shell.”

Parker laughed, standing up and taking a step away from the bed, brushing off their shorts out of habit. “You’re right. And I _really_ can’t afford missing out on any and all blackmail opportunities on him that I can, after all.” They began to cross the room, and Belphegor just smiled to himself, rolling back over into his pillow. He was exhausted from all the breakdowns, and very much so in need of a nap.

But he wouldn’t be getting one. Because when Parker’s hand touched the knob to his and Beelzebub’s room, she hesitated, before pivoting back to face him. “You know… You’re welcome to come join us, if you want. I mean, if you weren’t planning on sleeping, of course. I’ll even wait, if you do want, so you don’t have to make an entrance all by yourself…”

Belphegor didn’t move for a second, letting the words wash over him repeatedly. Then, he stretched, grabbing his favorite pillow and lazily sitting up, swinging his feet over the side of the bed and placing them on the ground. “Fine,” he spoke as if it were begrudging in his agreement, but really he was over the moon to be included and invited, like he really was part of the family again. “But only if you accept a bet of 500 Grimm that Levi’s gonna win.”

Parker narrowed their eyes at him in amusement and said nothing, just opening the door and holding it for him. Belphegor rose to his feet and shoved his hands deep into his cardigan’s pockets, giving her a small nod in thanks as he stepped out into the hallway with her.

Maybe they weren’t friends. Not yet. But maybe, hopefully, it was something that could be changed.


End file.
